The Life and Times of Katie-Ann

So…there are 5 singnificant men making up my love life (or lack of) at the moment:

1. The one I used to have, who desparately wants me, but I don’t want anymore

2. The one I desparately want, who doesn’t want me, and I’ll never have

3. The one I had for fun, but don’t want anymore, who keeps trying for more

4. The one I barely know, but we want to know eachother, who is hard to get to know

5. The one I had for fun, but felt like something more, but not sure if he felt that

If I could take the first part of 2, add the middle part of 1, and the end part of 3 and create one man, life would be perfect, and I wouldn’t have to waste my time with the confusion of 4 and 5…

But ultimately I think life would be simpler if none of them exsisted, or if they’d all just fuck off…

Official over a month in now - 11 to go! :B

Just going to clarify something that I’ve been asked a few times now - Presents…

I shall go back to the original rules and put this in, but I’m gonna say that I’m allowed to get new clothes as a present, but I’m not going to specifically ask for them…

If somebody buys me a dress for my birthday, I shant say no, but I wont be asking people to buy me things when I’m shopping with them :P

Glad I’ve cleared that up…

Still haven’t gotten around to making anything - College just started getting busy again!

I’ve got a free weekend though so I may well have a snazzy ‘new’ handmade dress by Monday ;)

Happy Trails x

• The Night I spent a Fiver on a Double
• The Night we tried to find the Jazz Club
• The Night Max had Arguments with Everyone
• The Night we were Sexy Farmers
• The Night with Lozenge and Where’s Wally
• The Night I went to Old Pete’s
• The Night we Cuddled
• The Night I we all Argued
• The Night I sent that facebook Message
• The Night I lost my Bracelet
• The Night I watched ‘Our House’
• The Night I put a Banana in the Cranberry Sauce
• Crab Fight Night*
• The Night me and Danny talked
• The Night of Foot Pain
• The Night that guy Stood on Me
• The Night Abbie WAS AN ELF!!
• The Night I got Banned from Tracey’s
• The Night I when Everything I had Planned went Wrong
• The Night of Unspeakable Things
• The Night I somehow managed to pull while being Ginger
• The Night I told Dom about the Invention of Trousers
• The Night I didn’t know Anyone
• The Night I escaped from Abbie’s

TO BE CONTINUED…

*(You may have noticed that Crab Fight Night is the only one that doesn’t start with ‘The Night-“. This is because Crab Fight Night is an epic name, and the name and night itself are just exceptions from every rule…)

Now, the title of this may be a little confusing.

What I mean literally by this phrase is the use of popular words for a reasonably short amount of time (a year or so) that is then very rarely used again.

My quam with these ‘Word Crazes’ as I have put it is not the use of these words, it is the misuse. I understand that words sometimes evolve with language and their meanings change such as ‘cool’ to mean ‘good’ as opposed to ‘reasonably cold’ and ‘gay’ to mean ‘homosexual’ as opposed to ‘happy’, but what I mean is when people just plain don’t know what the fuck they’re on about…

The two Word Crazes I have in mind are ‘random’ and ‘awkward’…

When I was about 12/13, the cool thing to do at the time was to say things are ‘so random!’. Most of these things were not random in the slightest.

ran·dom/ˈrandəm/

This is not just complaining about facebook, because as a human being, I have and regularly use a facebook account. It’s just that the people who run facebook are really quite stupid. They make more work for themselves than is neccessary. Infact, there is no work needed at all, and they create lots and lots, without anyone asking them to.

I have had facebook approximately since June 2008. I got facebook because lots of my friends had it and I was essentially peer pressured into it. A few of my friends who have only recently started a facebook account did this because they wanted to keep in touch with friends who also had facebook.

FACEBOOK WAS FINE AT THIS POINT. NOBODY COMPLAINED ABOUT IT

But they keep feeling the need to FUCK ABOUT WITH IT! Stop! Please stop!!

They have added some good things to it over the years, granted: Tagging Photos, Liking things, facebook Chat; but I just couldn’t tell you why they want to change everything ONCE A FUCKING WEEK.

It’s getting absurd. When you think about it, it’s like how Tesco rearrange the whole fucking shop every now and then, just to KEEP YOU ON YOUR FUCKING TOES apparently, cos I can’t think of any more usefull reason to move everthing.

Facebook know that they own our souls now, and therefore they can change facebook as much as they like, to the point where for the last week I haven’t been able to use facebook chat on my phone BECAUSE THEY MOVED THE BUTTON AND I CANNOT FIND IT.

A word of advice, facebook: If it ain’t broke, DON’T FUCKING FIX IT

I don’t know what it is, but for some reason I can always find my way around English train stations, but Welsh ones are impossible. Maybe I’m just a retard, but it’s really starting to piss me off. I’ve been to Cardiff Central about 10 times now and still cannot make my way round but Newport really takes the biscuit. It’s ridiculous. It’s nothing about the signs being in Welsh and English or anything like that. Newport Train Station is the most unbelievable place on Earth.

There’s really nothing more to it. There are very few signs for things like Toilets or Exits, and you can walk all the way round Platform and also the one behind it, and you still wont find Toilets. English train stations though, I’m fine with. Maybe I’m just racist and I don’t know it…

Here’s a list of all the songs that Spotify has banned me from listening to again, because I’ve heard them too many times:

“Birdhouse in your Soul” - They Might be Giants

“Feel Good” - Gorillaz

“Kids” - MGMT

“Mr Brightside” - The Killers

“The Lazy Song” - Bruno Mars

“Everybody Knows”, “Obviously” and “One for the Radio” - McFly

“Overture”, “I Get a Kick Out of You”, “Bon Voyage”, “You’re the Top”, “The Crew Song”, “Friendship”, “It’s De-Lovely”, “Anything Goes”, “Interlude” and “Blow Gabriel Blow” - Anything Goes 2003 London Cast Recording

I will update you all (ha, all…) on the evils of Spotify.

I hate it when people put ‘tb’ at the end of texts when they want you to text back. Why? If you asked me a question, I’m going to reply. If you just told me a statement, why do you need a reply? I will add one to a text if I ask an important question, i.e:

“I need to know numbers for the meal tonight, so tb asap”

But that’s just really an abrieviation of what I wanted to say, which was ‘Can you please text back as soon as you can because it’s important.

But I get texts like:

“omg i’m watchin i’m a celeb and [insert so-called ‘celebrity’ here] just ate a monkey cock! tb xxxxxx”

I don’t know why the ‘tb’ is there. It’s like: “Thanks for the info, that’s reasonably hilarious, but why do you NEED a reply to that so much that you need to request it? No, wait - DEMAND it!”

There’s not even a please. I’m not a rude person, I would probably reply to that text in my own time, but being told I have to just plain pisses me off.

Also, don’t get why people insist on doing it after a question.

“r u coming over to my house soon? tb xxxxxxxx”

(As you can tell, kisses bug me, but I use them regardless, usually two if I like the person. If I REALLY like you, I don’t feel the need to, however. So if you get a text with kisses from me, I’m either trying to be nice that day - an unlikely occurance - or you are in that group of friends who are lovely but not my bestest bestest friend)

I was going to reply anyway! You asked me a question! Why on Earth do you need to tell me to ‘text back’ when I’m aware that you need me to answer a question!

And to finish: It also bugs me that ‘tb’ means tuberculosis. Essentially, people are saying “Hey, how r u? CONSUMPTION xxxxx”. That’s retarded and I don’t like it. This is why I don’t by products from Ted Baker…They might as well have CANCER written all over them. Doesn’t float my boat….

Rant #1 Over.

Ok, so centre fringes are lovely, right? Yes they are, until you are drunk and sweaty.

See exhibit A:

Acceptible, nice fringe (and Sober Katie-Ann).

And then Exhibit B:

Horrific fringe (and wasted Katie-Ann).

Therefore, Captain Tophat and I are undergoing experiments to try and rectify this problem. We have a list of plans:

Plan A: Bring a Comb Out

Plan B: Bring a mini can of Dry Shampoo Out

Plan C: Use double-sided tape to stick it to our Foreheads

…

Plan Z: Grip it off face and give up.

Exhibit A and B are the result of Plan A’s trial last night. It did nothing. Once my fringe is a bit sweaty, it curls to one side and ruins everything.

So here is the updated list (along with a few previous plans that I am going to add in, even though they are not necessarily cronological…):

Plan A: Bring a Comb Out

Plan B: Bring a mini can of Dry Shampoo Out

Plan C: Use double-sided tape to stick it to our Foreheads

Plan D: Hair Wax

Plan E: Hair spray

…

Plan Z: Grip it off face and give up.